Parent/Teacher Conferences Survival Guide

Before:

1) Prevent your parents from finding out if possible: Try to intercept any messages and progress reports. Burning is a permanent solution to this problematic evidence.

 

2) Do extra chores around the house: Or at least ask if they need help more often. Become their favorite child by acting better than your siblings; if you’re an only child, be nicer than the dog.

 

3) Pretend to spend copious amounts of time on homework: Tears are a good tool to make your parents feel bad for you. Ask for lots of help, which they can’t give because high school was forever ago for them. Remember to promise you’ll get the teacher’s help.

 

4) Remind them that you’re trying your hardest: After all if you’re failing the teacher must be mean.

 

After:

1) Apologize: Profusely. Promise to try harder and/or ask the teacher for more help.

 

2) Say you’ll make up all late work: It’s advisable to actually follow through with this one, so you can avoid future situations like this.

 

3) Take it like a man: If you’re grounded, you’re grounded, just go willingly to make the punishment less brutal. Crocodile tears also help lessen the blows (if you’re a good actor).

4) Try harder in school: For real, the stress of bad grades is more painful than the stress of daily school work and effort in class.